It’s always been a bit of a puzzle for me: is perfectionism a good or a bad thing? In my psychology training it was was mostly discussed as a problem as it led to unrealistic goals and standards, stress disorders and often burnout. In fact, I’ve spent a good deal of my professional life helping […]
Not all optimism is healthy. It’s only really helpful if it is grounded in reality. So, today I’m not talking about crazy, wild-eyed Pollyanna optimism. And let me make it abundantly clear, I think positive thinking is positively dangerous! In contrast, today I’m talking about realistic optimism: a faith in the future that accepts the […]
In Part 1 of Thee or Me? I touched on the ethical and moral complexities of this Covid period, particularly the stunning contrast between those acting in altruistic fashion and those acting selfishly. In this second part, let’s explore some of the complexities and ambiguities of being human. The crowning glory of homo sapiens is […]
One of the most interesting consequences of the C-19 Pandemic has been the public displays of both prosocial and antisocial sentiments. Alongside hoarding and profiteering of essential supplies and protective equipment, or acts of flagrant aggression and selfishness, have been many altruistic and creatively kind gestures made to friend and stranger alike. More broadly there […]
I wonder if you’ve ever had this experience. You have a good friend who is depressed. You love them dearly. You’re mystified: You see clearly that they are a wonderful human being. You really esteem them. But they think they are worthless, a burden to others. You tell them how great they are. They are wrong […]
Imagine you’re holding a newborn baby. You’re looking down into its unblinking eyes. You smell that unmistakeable baby freshness. Unless you’re psychologically damaged goods, you’d be having feelings of love, if not awe, for this new human being. What you wouldn’t be doing is withholding your love until the baby did something to warrant it: […]
I once gave a talk in New York to an audience of about 2,000 – 2,500 television industry people on the psychology of creativity. They were a very energised, boisterous bunch. But, I also knew they had exceptionally high rates of burnout due to chronically high stress. There was a lot of fear of failure […]
It is a rare person who is not interested in being interesting. We care deeply about how others value us. Being interesting to others elevates our status and brings many benefits our way. It is deeply wired into our nervous system to search for this kind of esteem and most likely drives the extraordinary appeal […]
You would be forgiven for thinking this is the most natural question someone coming to counselling would ask of their treating practitioner. If you have not been to see a psychologist, you would think this an unremarkable expectation. If you have, you may be like many who have said to me that this question is […]
May 2020 At present we are unwittingly participating in a global social psychology experiment as we navigate the uncertainties of social distancing and various states of lockdown in our Covid-19 world. It is revealing the unalterable diversity in personality; it requires of us compassionate understanding of differences; it behooves us to recognise we are all […]
