The Other Side of Happiness Part 1
In these two Podcast sessions I talk with Professor Brock Bastian of the Melbourne School of Psychological Sciences at the University of Melbourne. We’re discussing his recent book, The Other Side of Happiness. His studies have been reviewed in leading news outlets such as Time Magazine, Huffington Post, Economist, New Scientist, Scientific American, CNN, ABC, […]
The Other Side of Happiness Part 2
In these two Podcast sessions I talk with Professor Brock Bastian of the Melbourne School of Psychological Sciences at the University of Melbourne. We’re discussing his recent book, The Other Side of Happiness. His studies have been reviewed in publications such as Time Magazine, Huffington Post, Economist, New Scientist, Scientific American, CNN, ABC, Globe […]
Be Interested
In this podcast I explore Dale Carnegie’s dictum: “If you want to be interesting, be interested”. Beginning with a therapeutic story we see why it is counterproductive to try to be interesting. Instead we need to really focus on what we find genuinely interesting in others. This is characterised as ‘interpersonal mindfulness’ where […]
The Unflappable Happiness of Being Average
We all have a natural drive to seek positive esteem. It is written into our source code. This podcast examines ways to derive more lasting happiness and self-esteem by understanding the drive and utilising it more wisely.
Unimproving Part 1: Original Sin
I take aim at self-improvement, arguing that is confuses our essential worth, our being, with what we do. It plays on our real need for esteem and pits us against presentations of perfection and elite performance that create in us a continuous sense of not being good enough. This is best (or rather […]
Unimproving Part 2: The Antidote
In this podcast we emphasise that trying to improve self is a grievous mistake, but improving knowledge, skills and aptitudes is an excellent path to happiness – when done for the intrinsic enjoyment of the activity and when driven by ccuriosity. Seven practical antidotes for self-improvement are then offered.
Thee or Me? Part 1: Morality & The Prisoner’s Dilemma
In this first of 2 podcasts I explore why we are sometimes selfish and at other times altruistic. The answer is a complex mix of nature and nurture: personality and circumstance. I discuss how, on average, you can encourage altruistic behaviour by approaching people with an assumption of their trustworthiness and moral good […]
Thee or Me? Part 2
Part 2 of Thee or Me explores our moral complexity driven in large part by the tension between hardwired self-interest and reciprocal altrusim. Topics explored include cheating and deception, moral outrage and virtue signalling. Four broad solutions for living wisely are suggested: self-skepticism and humility, the separation of powers within society, non-zero-sum cooperation […]
Practicing Realistic Optimism
This podcast looks at practical ways to develop realistic optimism. This kind of optimism is very grounded in reality but maintains an unwavering faith in the future. It focuses on what can be done rather than what cannot. Strategies outlined include shifting attention to aspects of reality that are more useful, and changing […]
The Imposter Syndrome Part 1: The Problem
It’s always been a bit of a puzzle for me: is perfectionism a good or a bad thing? Well, somewhat predictably, it turns out to be both. in Part 1 of this talk we’ll explore the nature of perfectionism and the imposter syndrome and in Part 2 we’ll suggest ways to be ‘better […]
The Imposter Syndrome Part 2: Solutions
In Part 1 of the Imposter Syndrome we focused on the nature of healthy and unhealthy perfectionism. In this podcast we focus on solutions: ways to change our thinking; ways to set more realistic goals; and ways to share our concerns with others to escape the mental trap that is the imposter syndrome.
The Art of Deep Work 1:
This is a series of short talks on the theme of modern life and work, exploring the challenges of productivity, distraction, prioritisation, deep work and working for wellbeing. We start with productivity and the curse of busyness. Productivity is about managing your time, energy and attention and most people feel they could do […]
The Art of Deep Work 2:
This is a series of short talks on the theme of modern life and work, exploring the challenges of productivity, distraction, prioritisation, deep work and working for wellbeing. In Part 2 we begin with reducing distraction and (alleged) multitasking. We then explore how to better prioritise what is important but not yet urgent […]
The Art of Deep Work 3
This is a series of short talks on the theme of modern life and work, exploring the challenges of productivity, distraction, prioritisation, deep work and working for wellbeing. In Part 3 we examine ways to use work for wellbeing, including Adam Fraser’s use of ‘Third Spaces’ to reflect, rest and re-set between tasks. […]
Quieting the Mind Part 1
Quieting the Mind explores the nature of mindfulness and the very considerable physical, cognitive and emotional benefits that accrue from developing this capability. A quiet mind is a strong mind. In this and the following talk we’ll examine why and how this is so. In Part 1 we’ll examine the reasons that a […]
Would You Rather Be Right Than Happy?
This podcast explores this question in the context of road rage. We begin with a counselling client who had an encounter with a bus. We then compare his story to two other true stories: 1. where a driver pursued another driver until he ran out of fuel; and 2. another, sadly, that led […]
You Get What You Resist
It is quite common in life to ‘get what you resist’. This podast explores examples of this: people who stutter more when they try not to stutter; golfer’s who have the ‘yips’; jealousy in relationship producing infildelity; and more generally how insecurity breeds insecurity. The antidote is acceptance and we explore ways acceptance reduces […]
Being at Ease With Others
We all have quite variable degrees of social insecurity. It seems universal that we are cautious not only with strangers, but also with people we know. Our wiring suggests we have this wariness as a default defence before we ascertain if the person is friendly. The surprising flip side of this is that […]
Mental Health 1: Helping Conversationally
Part 1 of this mental health series provides practical guidelines in conducting a helping conversation with someone we’re concerned about. It begins with an inclusive definition of mental health with brief outlines of its prevalence and causes. Part 2 will focus on managing mental health in the workplace.
Mental Health 2: Managing Mental Health
Part 2 of this mental health series provides advice on three tricky situations when managing people with mental health issues in the workplace: 1. How to balance your duty of care with your duty to manage performance; 2. How to decide how much empathy and negative consequences to direct to a person with a […]
Try Not to Worry About Worrying
We are a worrisome species, but it turns out this negativity bias is very useful… except when it isn’t. This podcast explores how we navigate this worrying, including how we catch ourselves worrying too much. That leads to an understanding of our ‘repertoire’ or ‘community of selves’ and ways we can shift our […]
Creating Psychological Safety in Teams: Part 1
In Part 1 of Creating Psychological Safety in Teams we see that teamwork is perhaps the defining feature of our species and that leveraging it is the pathway to sustainable high performance. We’ll also see that emotional fortitude is created by teams facing meaningful challenges together in an atmosphere of mutual trust, respect […]
Creating Psychological Safety in Teams: Part 2
In Part 2 it is suggested that in Creating Psychological Safety in Teams the most important thing is supporting your people to ‘win at work’: by helping them to move towards their work goals and aspirations. The means for this are 1. good ‘catalysts’, for example by providing clear goals, relative autonomy, resources […]
Embracing Uncertainty
Human beings are designed to hate uncertainty often equating it with threat. One solution to this is that we simplify reality using schemas – which are quick-and-dirty approximations of reality. They work remarkably well, but also lead to systematic errors and biases. We explore ways to overcome these errors including relaxing, practising ‘negative capability’, […]
Quieting the Mind Part 2
In part 1 we examined the reasons that a quiet mind is so beneficial and looked at two practices to induce it: extended out breathing and a simple mindfulness meditation. In this part we’ll explore three other applications: everyday mindfulness, interpersonal mindfulness, and using mindfulness to increase our emotional intelligence and emotional balance.
Stranger in the Room
Our hyper-social nature is explored, including our obsession with what other people think of us. This is linked to our survival mechanisms as a species.The practical implications of this are that we should take notice of our gut reactions when we are indeed uncomfortable with someone, but, on the other hand, we should recognize […]
Self-Less Series Part 1: Do Yourself a Kindness
This is a series of podcasts that will explore the many benefits of being Self-Less. The first here examines the ways in which being compassionate is good for us. Somewhat counter-intuitively, when we are feeling depleted or low, being compassionate to others is rejuvenating. Among other things we explore how compassion begins with, but […]
Self-Less Series Part 2: Building Compassion
This is a series of podcasts exploring the many benefits of being Self-Less. In part one we saw that being compassionate does not fatigue us, but in fact it rejuvenates us, even when we are feeling low. In this second episode of this series, we’ll explore a number of ways we can build this […]
Self-Less Series Part 3: Why Self-Compassion?
In the first two podcasts in this series on being Self-Less we examined the many benefits of compassion and and how we can build this capacity for compassion towards others. In this episode we look at why self-compassion can be harder for people to cultivate and why it is so very helpful to […]
Self-Less Series Part 4: Building Self-Compassion
In this final part of the Self-Less series, we examine how to build self compassion, starting with Kristin Neff’s 3-part structure: Mindfulness, Common Humanity & Self-Kindness. We then look at how Loving-Kindness meditation can be applied to self. We also introduce Illeism – a kindly, third-person way to talk to oneself to moderate one’s […]
Workshops: Interviews with Psychologist Sharon Bent
Helping With Mental Health
Helping with Mental Health provides knowledge, skills and confidence in promoting good mental health in ourselves and others. The workshop helps participants understand when and how they should intervene to help. It provides hands-on practice in conducting a ‘helping conversation’, including referral options, confidentiality issues and self-care. The workshop is relevant in […]
Being Well Performing Well
This workshop is about the robust relationship between wellbeing and high performance. It is about the optimal balance of stress and how that converts to resilience in the pursuit of high value goals. It presents the four pillars of resilience: Social Resilience, Physical Resilience, Psychological Resilience andPractical Resilience. An analogy is developed […]
Being the Best You Can Be
Being the Best You Can Be provides deep self-knowledge and strategies for living one’s life well.Given we cannot significantly change our personality, our job is to be the very best rendition of ourselves that we can be. The workshop examines why personality is important and provides an understanding of each participant’s profile in […]
Being Creatively Intelligent
In this conversation with psychologist Sharon Bent we explore the Being Creatively Intelligent workshop, beginning with the view that creativity is a defining feature of the species, not a special feature of a small number of people. There is some discussion about the mix of personality and learning in the development of creative […]
Living Well
Psychologist Sharon Bent and I discuss Living Well, and we begin by exploring the equation: Reality + Mindset = Experience. The workshop is largely about the freedom of being able to change experience by changing our mindset by changing 1. what we pay attention to and 2. the manner or style of that […]
Doing What Counts Most
This conversation with psychologist Sharon Bent is focused on the workshop Doing What Counts Most. We begin by discussing the two key elements of sustainable productivity: energy and attention. A key insight iso that we need to be doing fewer things but doing them deeper and better. We examine the pitfalls of ‘alleged multitasking’ (understood […]
Being Perfectly OK
In this conversation with psychologist Sharon Bent we discuss the relationship between anxiety, stress and obsessiveness and perfectionism. However, we also discuss the fact that there are healthy and productive aspects to perfectionism. This seeming puzzle is resolved by Elizabeth Lombardo in her fine book Better Than Perfect which distinguishes perfectionistic strivings (healthy) from perfectionistic […]
Being Intentionally Aware
In this conversation with psychologist Sharon Bent, we firstly define mindfulness as non-judgemental attention, including our awareness of that attention – or metacognition. We then discuss the raft of cognitive, physical and emotional benefits of practising mindfulness. Our discussion then moves to everyday mindfulness, especially to reduce our distractibility. Sharon and I explore so-called […]
Staying Open Minded
In this discussion of Staying Open-Minded psychologist Sharon Bent and I talk about some of the natural biases and errors of our naturally predictive mind. Drawing on the work of Kahneman we discuss System 1 and System 2 thinking and how we can use strategies to correct for these natural biases. We then explore Dweck’s […]
Managing Difficult People
This conversation with psychologist Sharon Bent starts with the ’empathy continuum’ – a way of distinguishing between types of difficult people and how we should modulate our response accordingly. We discuss the ‘dashboard’ model that uses intention and remorse as two indicators of how much empathy and what sort of consequences we should apply. […]
Coaching Conversationally
This conversation with psychologist Sharon Bent focuses on solution-oriented coaching. The workshop gives a grounding in conversational coaching, a naturalistic, non-directive and highly respectful approach. As the phrase ‘solution-oriented’ suggests, this approach is about future actions rather examining problems. It is based on enabling and evoking motivation (as against providing answers and revving people up). […]
Balancing Interactions
In this conversation with psychologist Sharon Bent we talk about interpersonal dynamics, especially about how we can create more win-wins in our dealings with other people. This is discussed in terms of Transactional Analysis (TA) that provides a simple rubric in terms of Parent, Adult and Child that can be utilised ‘live’ in the […]